In our time, the distance between one person and another is surprisingly small.
People often say that today is the age of the individual: everyone has become separated, each living in a world of their own.
That is certainly what it looks like on a train, where almost everyone is staring at a phone. There is no conversation even between people sitting side by side. Their shoulders are nearly touching, yet they do not even know each other’s names.
And yet, perhaps it is precisely because we are all separate that the distance between us has somehow become smaller.
Why strangers catch our attention
When face-to-face communication becomes scarce, we start to notice the people nearby in a peculiar way.
What kind of person is sitting next to me? Are they in a good mood or a bad one? Are they friendly, or aggressive?
Because we know nothing, we imagine all kinds of possibilities.
Someone we have spoken with once does not make us nearly as uneasy. We know, “This person is calm,” or “They were kind when I talked to them.”
We feel safe once we have confirmed that another person is friendly.
But most of the people we encounter in the city remain unknown. Through our phones we are connected to friends and acquaintances, while knowing nothing about the person immediately beside us.
I think this strange condition is now part of everyday life.
Each of us has a universe of our own
When I look around a train carriage, I feel something a little strange.
Everyone is riding in the same car. Physically, we are extremely close. And yet, through their phones, each person is looking into a completely different world.
One may be answering work messages. Another may be waiting for a reply from someone they love. Someone may be trying not to laugh at a video, while someone else reads the news and worries about the future.
We share the same space, yet each of us is living inside a small universe.
Seen that way, it is rather interesting.
A stranger can be a source of anxiety. But at the same time, they are also a possibility—someone whose story has not yet been decided.
A person who looks frightening may offer someone their seat. A shop clerk who seems unfriendly may turn out to be very kind once you speak. A single accidental remark may unexpectedly begin an enjoyable moment.
Like quantum mechanics, in which a state is not settled until it is observed—perhaps that is an exaggeration—but all around us are many small stories that have not yet become definite.
Neither worrying too much nor forcing ourselves not to care
So how might we live happily in such an age?
Paying too much attention to everyone around us is exhausting. But straining to tell ourselves, “I absolutely will not care,” is exhausting too.
We can be a little more natural about it.
If someone catches your attention, glance over for a moment. If your eyes meet, give a small nod. If conversation seems possible, say just one thing. And if today you want to stay inside your own world, quietly look at your phone.
There is no need to force the distance between people to shrink. Nor is there any need to push it farther apart. We can choose the distance that feels comfortable to us that day.
There are many people around us whom we do not understand. We cannot know completely what will happen.
But that uncertainty is not only a source of fear. It also means that the world has not yet been fully decided.
What kind of person will the one you pass today turn out to be? What kind of day will today become? The answers are not yet fixed.
That is exactly why we might look forward to them, just a little.
We live in an age when the distance between people is close and far, connected and separate.
I want to live through this contradictory present without forcing myself to understand it completely, enjoying the mystery along with everything else.
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